Friday, October 8, 2010

Pedestrians versus, well, everyone

One of the things I love most about Grahamstown is that virtually everything is within walking distance (I use “love” loosely because there are times when it pains me).

Now this is great when you are a humble student on a very tight budget and no money for petrol, but the fact of the matter is that although you can roam around Grahamstown without the need to use an engine, people have cars, and they use them.

This brings me to the war that is constantly raged between pedestrians and whoever gets in our way. Speaking as an active member of the pedestrian society it really brings me joy to shout at passing cars when they drive down the street to fast, or decide not to use indicators or, merely to vent when the music is too loud. This may put me into a category of pedestrian road rage, and it’s a problem. What makes it worse is that it’s not just me, it’s everybody.

It is the reaction that we get which makes it so enjoyable to anger the drivers in Grahamstown. It’s our own personal form of payback; one could call it a silent army, whose ranks are unbeatable. We cause our damage the only way we know how. It is spurred on by the hundreds of pedestrian crossings littered all over town (if they not official – we make them official). There is absolute delight that spreads over every pedestrians’ face when they slow their walking pace over these zebra crossings, just enough to irritate the fuel cap right off.

The reactions vary, some just rev their engines angrily but they all know pedestrians were here first. The best reaction you can come across, and this is my personal favorite, is the “Sneaky Pushing Reaction Method”. Allow me to place it into context; picture a helpless pedestrian, abiding by the law and crossing where it is safe to do so. Along comes and angry looking car, ready for the show down. The pedestrian will not take this lying down and, as per army requirements, slows down their pace. The execution of “Sneaky Pushing Reaction Method” is then put into play. The car, gently edges forward, the pedestrian becomes slower, the car edges further until both parties are stationary and caught in a stare down. It’s not pretty to witness.

The war that we fight day in and day out is probably a universal one, it gets more aggressive further into town where the ruthless troops have no fear whatsoever. We make a united stand against anyone who gets in our way, donkeys, cars, weather you name it. It is unfortunate though, that there are those that risk their lives in the name of pedestrians around the world, but this is Grahamstown, and one must always look left and right (even on a one-way), because you can never get too comfortable.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

"The City of Arses"

So Grahamstown is known as The City of Saints, and this is because of the obscene amount of Churches and Cathedrals hanging about. In fact, Grahamstown holds some ridiculous statistic like, “most Cathedrals/churches per capita”, whatever that means.

This awesome fact aside I have been very overwhelmed by the amount of donkeys which seem to roam free up and down the streets of town. Now I’m not sure if this is a small town trait, I wouldn’t know because chances of seeing a donkey walking about town in Pretoria is less then zero, you are more likely to see a police van. My point, and I do have one, is that these donkeys seem to have developed a snide personality and have formed political opinions.
What am I basing this on? Simple.

About 3 weeks ago I was dragged, against me will, to a place called Ntundo Hall (the spelling varies with each time I try pronounce it). The name is not important; it was the reason for this gathering which adds weight to my conspiracy theory. It was the Protection of Information Bill debate hosted by Grocott’s mail (Grocott’s Mail the Grahamstown news source; a blog topic in itself). The debate consisted of a whole host of people who were either politically inclined (DA and ANC reps) or there as an educational buffer. What got me was the damn donkey. Every time the poor innocent ANC rep started debating his point, from somewhere outside the Hall the rebellion started to call.  You kind of felt sorry for the man.

If that’s not enough, it’s the fact that they watch you, the donkeys I mean. If you making a quick Pick ’n Pay run and all you really want is your darn milk, their eyes watch you as you cross the road and make your way back to res. Sometimes if they are feeling really malicious they follow you. But they never get to close, just enough to scare you.

It’s the donkeys that get me in Grahamstown…every time I tell you, every time. But it is Grahamstown, and they are just a reminder to never get to comfortable…

Ciao for now,

Chev.